About a week ago, I attended college orientation (better known as Troy IMPACT), which was a two day process of being separated by parents, meeting new students, and picking classes...not to mention the miscellaneous partying that took place; yes all ready! I actually had some fun though. We had a hilarious group leader named Erica who was really cool. And I met a few people when we were trapped in a room for like three hours while Erica and Caitlyn, the other leader helped us pick our classes and made our schedules. And surprisingly I met a boy on this trip. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: With all the boy trouble in my life, why even consider adding another to the mix? And you're right...it's not worth my time. But I think I've made a friend in him. His name is Eddie and we have a lot in common; from our style to music, we really clicked pretty well. And I admit...he followed me to my dorm room and things got a little "touchy" and I felt incredibly guilty. I told Q moments after it happened hoping he wouldn't think the worse of me, and he didn't. He was actually very okay with it. We are not committed to each other and he kinda understood. But I promised that I would not hook up with anybody while we are on a romantic level. I just don't have the conscience for it...what can I say? I'm smitten.
Speaking of which, me and Q spent a completely wonderful four days together when I got back from Troy (the night I got back actually because me and Mom came home to a dark house due to the fact she didn't pay the bill). It was great! I can totally see myself being with him and happy. Friday we spent the day at the mall before going to see the new Harry Potter movie. We went to Gap and saw my friend Rickey (who I met through my ex-boyfriend, Wendell). We chatted for a few minutes and decided to hang out later that night. We ended up settling on going to the club later on around midnight. Q and I got there before he did and of course there he was: my ex-boyfriend Wendell. I tried to kinda maneuver around him without him noticing but he saw me and pulled me over into a bear hug. I'm guessing he had been feeling a little friendly since he had been drinking. I just asked him how he was doing and asked where Rickey was and pretty much went about my business. I saw him ALL night...and when I left we hugged again and he told me to be careful as he gave a friendly smile towards Q. The situation wasn't terribly awkward, but for days after (including right now) it triggered all the feelings and hurt I felt when we were together. I know I don't want him anymore, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him even a little. But I'm not bold enough to try and contact him...especially after vowing not to. I kind of wish I never saw him...I am over him as my boyfriend and all, but it's never easy seeing an ex and so soon after ending communication. I think I took a few steps back after seeing him and now it's back to "purging" him again.
But besides the Wendell "sighting" the club was fun. Q and I had a good time, although I was kind of disappointed that Josh (Rickey's hubby) didn't show up because he had to work. So to make it up to me, we hung out today. Just went shopping and grabbed a bite to eat. We visited Rickey at the Gap and talked for a bit. He asked me a lot of questions about college and stuff and I told him my position with Q. About how I don't know how long I'll be at Troy because I'm willing to change schools out of state if Q get's an out of state job, and he reacted to me as if I was stupid. It was one of those moments where although he didn't really say anything about it, his body language and mannerism told me what he thought of the idea. I kinda didn't like that, considering Rickey has no place to judge me, but I think that just may be how he is, so I tried not to take it personally. I mean, as long as I think it's right then it's ok...it's MY life, and plans change. Who knows how I'll feel or what will be going on in a year...everything could change in a year. But oh well...we shall see.
No comments:
Post a Comment