By the way...in case you were too uninterested to look it up yourself, PM stands for post meridiem (you get that if you read the blog before this one).
So...I woke up Wednesday morning I think at around 8, with frostbite and numbness from the cold. I was kinda sad but excited at the same time. I didn't want to leave Quinton but it's only for a semester and I figured the less I dwindled around, the less time I would have for it to hit me that this was real, and I was going to be away from him. I had spent three long, confusing, desolate, glorious, and wondrous weeks at that apartment, and just when I was getting used to our little routine, it was time for me to pack my little life and go. I took a quick shower and bundled up in a fitted thermal and my new favorite coat and after throwing everything I owned in the back of his Pontiac GS, we were on our way back to Troy, Alabama.
When we arrived, I checked in and we proceeded to haul the heavy containers up the back stairs to my dorm room. The halls still stunk of dirty underwear and testosterone, but the floors were shiny and buffed. I walked up to our door at 218 A and noticed new name tags cut out of yellow construction paper in the shape of clovers. (I'm guessing it went with some kind of spring theme?). I twisted the doorknob and walked into the room I was so willing to leave behind for at least another week with my boyfriend. I hurled my belongings onto the middle of the floor and went back to the car for the rest of my stuff. Three agonizing trips later, I called to meet up with Nicole for lunch before Quinton had to be on his way. I ended up with my beloved Chinese food that I had actually missed and anticipated while I was gone. We chatted and laughed for a few minutes and it was time for the dreaded goodbye. I walked him to his car and we said our farewells. He got into the car and I gave him a short kiss in front of God and anyone else in the parking lot and headed back to the food court. I kept it short so maybe it wouldn't hurt too bad, and it didn't. I sat down at the round table with Nicole as if nothing at all had happened and cleared my mind to make room for thoughts other than him.
I wasn't being mean or anything when I said I was pushing him out of my mind, I just meant for a little while. I was back in reality. Being with him was a vacation...sort of a temporary ideal living situation (besides the no car and no job thing) that will happen eventually when I move back home, but it wasn't real. Reality is being back in Troy and trying to deal with everything that's being thrown at me without saying "fuck it" and dropping out.
Yesterday, I went to the bookstore to use financial aid to purchase my books for this semester with no luck...I don't have enough to cover school and books together. I'm still overdrawn hundreds of dollars in my bank account, so there isn't a simple way for anybody to wire money into my account until that's settled (which I don't see happening anytime soon). I also planned on signing up for work study today...but alas, luck was not on my side because there is nothing left. I feel like it's going to be a long semester full of even more bullshit than the first. Hopefully things get better...I'm not asking for the moon or anything. I just want a break for once in the past couple of years. I mean I'm trying to do something with my life by sticking with school (mainly because it's all I have) and I earn decent grades, but I guess in the real world, it's just not enough sometimes. I'm meeting friends at Saga (the campus cafeteria) so I guess I'll end here.
-darryl aka dappy duck
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